Power dynamics in 1-0n-1 teaching
I learned this early
In an educator’s world it isn’t unusual to associate power dynamics with teaching. Power in the classroom can refer to authority, decision making capacity, opportunity, control, the best seat, whatever you want to call it - and power is constantly shifting between the students and the teacher. It forms the basis of classroom management for an educator.
Bull but no horns
Every day teachers worry about classroom management. Any small tweak in power can change the entire dynamic - depending on the educators mood, EVERY student’s mood, and the whims of whoever or whatever enters the classroom on that day. I’m sorry but it is even harder than you are imagining right now. A teacher who loosens the boundaries too much has to suffer chaos and loss of interest, and a teacher trying to avoid that situation but coming off as too authoritarian will have to suffer through teaching a demoralized classroom.
(Dis) comfort zone
1-on-1 teaching is different. If I want my students to learn, they have to move out of their fight / flight / freeze/ flip their lid responses … and CHOOSE to work with me.
It may sound unbelievable, but I avoid at all costs in my session - forcing a child to do something without their consent.
How do I teach then? Why do my students work then?
Because I balance the power.
ACADEMIC Baggage
When does a student need 1-on-1 coaching? If you have a
wonderfully self-reliant,
high self-esteem,
100% willing to work on difficult projects,
child, congratulations. They probably are not going to be in 1-on-1 sessions.
The students I teach carry what I call academic baggage.
Baggage specifically created by the system of academia. Most of the students I have worked with have been neurodivergent. Many of them have spent their childhoods dealing with high stress, anxiety, depression, low self-confidence, hurtful self-image, imposter syndrome, performance anxiety - LIFE. They have been dealing with these before they even are aware of their labels.
So yes, they are probably struggling in school. They may be stressed around friends and family. They may have explosive reactions to situations of conflict or they may avoid negative scenarios like a plague because they are terrified of negative emotions.
The points is - this baggage they have to bring with them into MY session. Into MY space with the awareness that they are there because they are lacking in some way.
THAT is the point.
Finding our Balance
So what do you do if a person comes in to your space, your comfort zone, your area of expertise, expecting you to be in all possible ways, their superior?
Before I teach my students anything, I need to help them take off some of that baggage and establish a space for themselves in my presence.
Here is what that looks like:
Sometimes the first few sessions are going to be slower. There is going to be more chatter, more personal questions and I am not going to be able to get to some of the lesson. That is OK.
Sometimes my students will not answer my questions, will not make eye contact with me, will not take up opportunities for any conversation and I may feel personally triggered or upset by this. SURPRISE that is also OK.
Sometimes my students might insist on telling me long personal narratives about their exciting adventures or their two faced friends and that …. Is also OK.
They may ask for an extra break. OK. They may ask if we can stroll outside for a bit. OK. They may want to eat cookies together. OK. Put their head on the table. OK. ALL OK.
If you read that and you thought my sessions descend into chaos - you are wrong. My students work. They work for me & they work HARD. Why - because through their poking, testing, complaining, sharing… they have realized that they have a say in their education.
And no child WANTS to fail.
When my students come to their first session, they know that I have all the power in the room. My experience, my age, my degree and schooling - everything makes me more powerful than they are. And unfortunately, in our society you are required from a young age to automatically respect & follow a powerful person, which is, in my opinion, the complete OPPOSITE of the values that I (and most parents) want to impart to these kids.
My students respect me when I respect them.
When I respect their decision to be silent, they respect my attempt to make a suggestion. When I respect their decision to take a break, they respect my decision to work on something after. When I respect their decision to take some time to share personal stories, they respect my decision to take some time to explain hard concepts.
When I respect their decision to be involved in their education, they respect my ability to guide them.
We found Neverland
This end comfort zone is a place of collaboration.
There is no student or teacher anymore. I learn from them as much as they learn from me. My students know I am not perfect and they know they have things they can teach me. They also know I have things that I am trained to do, that they can learn safely in a non-judgmental, non-degrading space in a way that would benefit them. My students grow in ability and confidence because somewhere along the way, they begin to feel powerful.
